Hockey Fans Defy Stereotypes

by Jack Solowey

The usually tranquil seaside city of Vancouver erupted in chaos last night, following the Canucks's 4-0 defeat by the Boston Bruins in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final. At the close of the third period, otherwise mild-mannered Canadians took to the streets in an atypical display of human emotion. 150 were injured as the British Columbians burned cars, smashed storefronts, and unleashed lifetimes of pent up aggression. 

"This is the first time in my life I've burned anything. Even birthday candles used to scare me, but torching that Mountie's horse felt pretty good eh!" stated Ethan Taylor an investment banker and Vancouver native. "Now that I've tasted blood, I don't think I can ever go back to my timid Canadian ways."

We caught Taylor marching with a cohort of crazed Canucks fans from the Rogers Arena to a local liquor store. There, the mob proceeded to loot bottles of Molson Ice and Canadian Club Whiskey in order to make molotov cocktails. 

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police had to be called up to halt this unprecedented destruction of property. Upon hearing that a mass of 70,000 hooligans was rampaging in the streets of Vancouver, R.C.M.P. Commissioner William Elliot is reported to have said "Stop messin' around ya no-good hoser! There aren't 70,000 people in all of Canada!" Elliot only realized that the call for assistance was not a prank when Prime Minister Stephen Harper personally begged him to step in. 

Perhaps even more shocking than Canada's latent urge to riot is Boston's sudden ability to maintain basic standards of human decency. Win or Lose, the Boston Police Department was prepared for an orgy of drunken violence that would last well into the wee hours of the morning. Barricades were set up along pub-lined streets, and hundreds of riot police in full body-armor established a tight perimeter around TD Garden. Surprisingly, these efforts were unnecessary.

Following the presentation of the Stanley Cup and the Conn Smythe trophy to Bruins captain Zdeno Chara and Bruins goalie Tim Thomas respectively, Bostonians put down their pints of lager, paused for a 20 second golf-clap, and exited single-file out of all local bars and restaurants.

One Bostonian, when asked why he was acting like a civilized member of society, stated, "I have wo[r]k in the mo[r]ning at John Hancock Insu[r]ance, I can't stay up all night drinkin' just becaws a' some stupid hawckey gayme. That'd be wicked irrespawnsable.

U.S. Snubbed Again by Glitzy International Affair

by Jack Solowey

The first full lunar eclipse in over a decade is taking place today, but you wouldn't know it. While South America, Africa, Europe, Asia, and Australia will be able to witness this breathtaking celestial phenomenon, the United States will not be attending. Left off the guest list, the US will have to make alternate plans for the evening - perhaps renting a movie with Canada.

After President Obama and First Lady Michelle were overlooked for an invitation to the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, Americans have been feeling left out. This recent snub, by the heavens themselves, is just the latest blow to our national ego.

An avuncular man who identifies himself only as "Sam," as he is too embarrassed to use his real name, had this to say while choking back tears, "I didn't even want to go to that stupid lunar eclipse. That's weak small time sh*t. 'For me, it's solar or nothing.'* The moon would be a nobody without us. We made the moon a big deal by hanging out there in 1969, and now it thinks it can host a party without us. Real cool bro!"

Like most Americans today, Sam is visibly upset. American detractors, however, haughtily delighted in their new-found social superiority. Even New Zealand tried to be cool, chiding, "I bet those Yank mates feel more left out than a Kakapo at a Kiwi party!" The joke, however, was lost on Mongolia and South Korea who just shrugged their shoulders at the comment.

Insiders at the Gala report that it was indeed a star studded affair. Astral celebrities such as the Virgo constellation were visible shortly after the party kicked off. The entire catering hall was bathed in an intense red light that emerged when the earth passed directly between the moon and the sun.

As for future Lunar-American relations, sources close to the moon's promoter say that the United States can expect an invitation to the next total lunar eclipse no later than August 21, 2017. Skeptical Americans won't be holding their breath.
 

*The Simpsons episode 251 written by John Frink & Don Payne, Directed by Mike Scully

Twitter Contest 6.14

Complete the last line of the limerick on twitter for a special prize!  #JunctionContests

There once was a Junction for Writers

All brighter than all kinds of lighters

They worked hard all day

So then they could play

...your line here…

Happy Writing!

Experts Report: American Productivity Down 83.4% Today

by Jack Solowey

Writers Junction productivity analysts made a startling discovery upon entering the office this morning.

"I opened the door and there were reams of dot matrix paper all over the floor. You know, that old printer paper with the perforated edges and holes on the side," reported Junction intern Colij Stoodint.

The Junction's Level of Activity Monitoring Equipment, or L.A.M.E., had been working in overdrive to churn out new graphs since 9 am EST. At that time, Americans on the eastern seaboard were clicking onto their Google home-pages and noticing the interactive Les Paul "doodle."

L.A.M.E. is a remote monitoring station that records the average national level of productivity in a continuous line graph similar to a Seismometer or EKG. It is financed by the federal government, and located in Santa Monica California.

"It was game over as soon as the first laptop was booted up. By 9:15 am EST the graphing pins were already recording in the bottom quartile of productivity. At noon, the national activity level was down 83.4% below the daily average," Stoodint reports.

From Boston to Richmond, right when the workday began, Americans could not help but spend hours trying to record 30 second ditties on the digital mini-guitar Google provided. A New York Times columnist who chose to remain anonymous states, "I was about to email a source in Lybia when I discovered the doodle. When I looked at the clock again I realized that Paul Krugman and I had been riffing nonstop for 3 hours!"

While the national productivity level fell to its lowest point since the Rebecca Black video was released, there were some positive developments to come out of the Les Paul doodle. Apparently, if you type ddfggfdsaasddss on your keyboard the guitar plays "Ode to Joy."

Nevertheless, when Stoodint and his colleagues first saw the daily L.A.M.E. reports they thought their worst fears had been realized.

"Ever since the internet was developed, The Pentagon has feared that an enemy of the state might release an app. or flash game so distracting that it would cripple the US on the eve of war. So, as soon as I walked in this morning I got Sec. Def. Robert Gates on the horn. Well, I should say that I called him up after struggling to play "Smoke on the Water" on google for 45 minutes..."

More Room to Write at The Junction!

Announcing...

The Bullpen!

We are excited to introduce The Junction's new light and airy writing room with 18 more writing spaces.  Already a hit with the regulars, the room is in the "way back" behind the Deadline Room.  Check it out.  We leave standard old office cubicles in our dust.  And we still have more improvements in store for this room!

More pics of the work while it was in progress on our Facebook page.

 

 

 

 

How to Create Characters Readers Want to Spend Time With: A Junction Master Class with Corey Mandell

Do your characters have enough character? 

Only 25 spots are available -- be sure to grab one before they're all taken!

This will be a hands-on workshop.

Scroll down for details and ticket info. 

From Corey: 

Many of the professional screenwriters I know say they know people with far more natural ability than themselves who do not have careers, and will never have careers, because of their writing process. Process is how we write, how we create our characters and stories. 

Psychologists note some people's natural process is to create conceptually while others use a more intuitive approach. Conceptualists tend to write outside in, starting with concept or situation. Intuitives tend to write inside out, starting with character or theme. The result is that conceptualists tend to craft well-structured scripts populated by less-than-compelling characters while intuitives tend to write strong characters and dialogue, but their scripts lack sufficient structure.

Successful writers are able to write both conceptually and intuitively. They get the best of both worlds.    

This four-hour master class offers guided writing exercises and tools to help participants strengthen and integrate these two creative approaches in order to be able to write their most compelling characters. The class will also share a variety of specific processes professional working writers use to write their first drafts. Please come prepared to do a lot of writing.

~  

Sunday, June 26th

12:00pm-4:00pm

At The Writers Junction

1001 Colorado Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90401

Limited Seats Available 

General Admission: $40 

Attendees must buy tickets here:

http://createcharacters.eventbrite.com 

Junction members, check our previous email for your discount code

open to members & non-members

~

About Corey:

 Corey Mandell is an award-winning playwright and screenwriter who has written projects for Ridley Scott, Wolfgang Petersen, Harrison Ford, John Travolta, Warner Brothers, Universal, 20th Century Fox, Fox 2000, Fox Family, Working Title, Paramount, Live Planet, Beacon Films, Touchstone, Trilogy, Radiant and Walt Disney Pictures.

Corey is also a distinguished instructor at UCLA, where he earned his MFA.  His students have gone on to sell or option scripts to Warner Brothers, Paramount, Sony Pictures, Disney, Fox, Fox 2000, MGM, Universal, Showtime, USA Network and Lifetime. Others have gained admission to the USC Graduate Screenwriting Program, the AFI Conservatory Screenwriting Program and Sundance Screenwriter's Lab.

The New Short Fiction Series Emerging Voices Group Show

The Writers Junction is proud to be partnered with The New Short Fiction Series, Los Angeles's longest running spoken word series, in introducing the most promising of new West Coast writers.  One of our very own members was featured in The New Short Fiction Series Emerging Voices Group Show in 2005 -- Deirdre Shaw, whose debut novel, Love or Something Like It, was published by Random House in 2009.   

Sponsored in part by Barnes & Noble, join us for "a night of vibrant, living art (Forth Magazine)" at...

   

The 8th Annual Emerging Voices Group Show  

Presented by The New Short Fiction Series 

Sunday, May 8th
7:00pm-9:00pm

Doors open at 6:30pm 

Hosted at The Writers Junction 

1001 Colorado Ave., Santa Monica, CA 90401

Admission: $10 with advance purchase, $15 at the door

Limited Seating

open to Writers Junction members & non-members

For advance tickets and program information, visit www.newshortfictionseries.com or call 866-811-4111.

~

The New Short Fiction Series continues its 15^th Season with its 8th Annual Emerging Voices Group Show, featuring new fiction by Tracy Olson Chait, Rae Cline, Luis Garcia Romero, Liska Jacobs, Eric Weintraub and Omar Zahzah.

  

The performance stars spoken word artist Sally Shore, with guest cast Alain Benatar (Passions), Dana DeRuyck (Perv:The Cat), Matt Ferrucci (Wilde Salome, Real Men, Real Issues), Judd Hollander (The Fix) and David St. James (Big Love, Transformers: Dark of the Moon).   

Seats are limited, so reservations are strongly recommended.  And don't be late!  Doors open at 6:30 pm, and performances begin at 7:00 pm. 

For more information, and to purchase your tickets, visit www.newshortfictionseries.com or call 866-811-4111.

  

The New Short Fiction Series is a member of the Pasadena Arts Council's EMERGE Fiscal Sponsorship Program.

About the Authors:  

Tracy Olson Chait grew up in Cape Cod, where her first job was making chowder in the back of a fish market.  She holds an MA from the Bread Loaf School of English at Middlebury College, where she was the Sypher Scholar.  Chait parted with her snow shovel in 2003, and currently leads writing workshops for high-risk teens with the nonprofit WriteGirl.  Recently published in the Santa Monica Review, she is at work on a collection of connected short fiction  and lives in L.A. with her husband, one-year-old daughter and two against-type Chihuahuas.

Rae Cline received her BA in English from Michigan State University, moved to Ann Arbor, and began a wildly exciting career in the music industry booking Nirvana club shows, opening for Jello Biafra, and managing meet and greets for the Rolling Stones, the Spice Girls, and a buck naked Mojo Nixon.  A Los Angeles resident since 2002, Cline won first prize in the American Literary Review Fall Fiction Contest (2006) and was a finalist for UCLA's Kirkwood Prize (2008).  She writes the popular science blog, Storm and Stress: Notes from My Amygdala.

Luis Garcia Romero is a former journalist who studied short fiction at UCLA.  His work has been published in Concisely Magazine, and will appear in a forthcoming issue of Villains Magazine.  Garcia Romero was the co-editor for Glib and Sincere, a zine featuring micro fiction and micro nonfiction.

Liska Jacobs graduated from UCLA's creative writing program in 2008.  She was nominated for the 2009 and 2010 Kirkwood Prize in literary short fiction.  Jacobs' writing aims looks at the variations of truth and authenticity in everyday life, which she explores on her blog, Boy Lovers.  She is currently pursuing a MFA through Vermont College School of Fine Arts' low residency program, and lives in West LA with her husband.   

Eric Weintraub has been creating stories ever since he first learned how to read and write.  As a high school senior, he wrote and directed the short film Send or Delete for the Santa Monica Police Department, which won major awards at three popular Los Angeles film festivals and was broadcast throughout the statewide.  Many of Weintraub's short stories are based on personal experiences from his time in high school and college, as well as while working as a script reader for actress, Jennifer Lopez.  Currently a USC student, Weintraub is an editor and photographer for Scribe magazine and is completing his first novel. 

Omar ZahZah is a student at California State University, Long Beach.  His work has been featured in Vulcan: A Literary Dis-Allusion, The Chiron Review and RipRap.